Mastering the Art of French Eating

& Belgian eating, & Dutch eating. Bon appetit.

The best way to age is to do so in Europe. 

Yes - the rumors are true. I had a birthday. And instead of drinking wine alone in a French apartment (which is still not a bad way to spend a birthday…), I hopped a train from Paris just in time to spend it partying in the canals and drinking wine in the Netherlands with my friend, Claire. 

I am joyful, if elderly. 

Because it’s been a particularly busy and stressful week, I’m going to force you all to give me the birthday gift of being completely chill about the fact that this week’s content is really just an extension of the “Four/Five/Six Things I Consumed” section that usually graces the bottom of these emails. 

So here it is: Fifteen Things I Consumed This Week(-ish)

1. The champion of the week: French onion soup!
   This is a story of second chances and redemption, as I’d had French onion soup just once before and did not care for it. I am thrilled to announce that I was wrong, and French onion soup has been rightfully restored to a high ranking.
   

   

2. Salmon. So much salmon.
   Salmon with leek puree. Salmon salad. A “salmon linguini,” which turned out to be pasta under a blanket of smoked salmon. A salmon bagel, eaten with a fork and knife?

3. A view of the stained glass windows of Sainte-Chapelle

   

4. A microwaved croque monsieur sandwich, eaten on the steps of Sacré-Coeur. There’s a 100% chance I’m on a Facebook feed, mid-bite in the background of several peoples’ vacation photos.

5. A lot of “French skincare” TikTok’s from wealthy white women telling me what sunscreen to use, what retinol I can’t get back in the United States, and that I simply have to have the $83 Caudalie anti-aging serum.
   
   (Unfortunately, the only product I’ve purchased so far was a $4 red toothpaste that seemed exotic at the grocery store. It turns my teeth pink, which seems like a questionable quality for a toothpaste to have. So clearly, I’m not in a position to accept any French skincare advice.)

6. The Last Thing He Told Me, by Laura Dave. Devoured on the train ride from Normandy to Paris.

7. A “large beer” that I was tricked into by a Belgian waiter who neglected to inform me that “large” = $27-worth of beer in a comically large glass.
   But Mama didn’t raise no quitter! I drank all 1.75 liters; which, it turns out, is the perfect amount of beer to facilitate sleeping through the entirety of a 3 hour bus ride back to Paris.
   

   

8. A view of the Eiffel Tower sparkling, on a river cruise through the city. It was even prettier than I expected it to be, and I nearly sacrificed my phone to the waters of the Seine trying to take this photo.
   

   

9. Coffee from the food car on the train to Amsterdam.
   ”I’m just a girl, standing in front of a door between two cars on the train, frantically waving her hands trying to activate the motion detector that opens the door whilst dangerously under-caffeinated.”

10. This Twitter thread about Amazon purchasing the company that owns Roomba, and why you should start caring about the quantity of data they have on you.

11. A lot of Dutch beer (and some rosé, and some moscato, and then some more Dutch beer…) on a very, very fun boozy canal cruise that gave me a gnarly birthday morning hangover.

12. Top Gun (the original) - in my pajamas, on my birthday.
    (Because of said hangover.)  

13. Bitterballen,“Dutch meatballs”, which are deep-fried and filled with a very thick beef broth, and then dipped in mustard.

14. This photo of a baby that looks like Woody Harrelson.
    

    

15. A charcuterie board full of European cheeses and wine, hand-selected for us by a jolly Dutch man and enjoyed while overlooking a beautiful canal and a mangy seagull digging through a trashcan. (Thank you, Claire!)